I like the fact that you spoke how you really felt about the use of digital/electronics and its usage. You made many connections with your own life and other people's lives that you mention and wrote how the electronics is consuming their time. I also like the fact that this blog is rather long which tells me you put a lot of thought into this.
You made lots of points and arguments to how bad being on the internet for a long time is bad for you. It takes valuable time that can be better well spent on, and it also can destroy your eye sights as well.
It is just like how the media portrays the situation with internet addicts. Some parents actually pay professionals to separate their kids from the network. Also a quote "geeks are taking control of the world" might be more accurate than I'd imagine.
This whole blog has been pretty interesting. The only flaw is how bias you are of the internet, while you gave many examples of how the internet is bad, you gave only one example of how to well sever its usage. You can also maybe separate into paragraphs between the downside and upside to internet.
From your post, I can see now that more and more people are turning their attention to the internet and its screen. Maybe we can all somehow refrain ourselves to only using the internet for useful/interesting info.
Your blog was very straight forward and easy to understand. This was well thought out and hope to see some more like this in the future.
I like the fact that you organize your paragraphs, making a different point on each new paragraphs. You gave a lot of evidence to the use of electronics and I can see that you had written down thoughts while you were typing it up.
I agree that the electronics enhancement brings a lot of attention as well as advantages, for example getting messages faster and receiving money more easily.
You essay is like the opposite of Quinn, she explores more on why its addictive and bad for someone, you explore the neat perks it brings. Although you both have written that the computers are taking our lives away.
All I can think about to improve you paragraphs is maybe more examples and maybe how it effected your life?
You idea of computers may not be off, like the token people Andy was talking about the other day, how they serve no use to the metro companies once the token machines were made. Maybe as soon as all the easy jobs are replace with mechanics, maybe more complicated jobs will be replace? Such as school teachers, cops, etc.
Your blog was great and it was nice of you to put your thoughts on the future of technology.
September 17, 2009 8:29 PM
To Richard,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate how you took some of your time and read through my post. I could say that you understood my argument by restating the summary of my paper and what I should have done to make it better. I also appreciate how you bought in some of your ideas, such as your quote to make my paper sound more interesting.
Your point about how I should include more examples of myself and adding more thoughts to why digital/electronic media are helpful, makes me think deeper into my paper. And after re-reading my blog, I think your idea fits perfectly into my paper.
Responsing to the question you have for me, "The only flaw is how bias you are of the internet, while you gave many exampls of how the internet is bad," Well, I believe there are possible answers why internet are good. They help us with homework, research, meeting new friends. For example, for Andy's class we have to do our homework on the blog which means we're using the computer. Without the computer, we'll fail history. Your question also remind me of the pass when I miss out everything that was happening on my first date. I didnt have a computer or a cell phone so I dont know what exactly is my "girlfriend" doing.
If our papers are combined we shall have a perfect essay. Your paper rely on how the interent helps us or not and many people depends on the digital/electronic media for enterinment. Your paper has alot of background information and my paper has a lot of examples.
No futhur questions. Once again i enjoy re-reading your essay and thanks for the comment.